Tofee, a refugee-turned-DJ in Berlin, shares his remarkable journey from fleeing Iraq to spinning records at Berlin parties. With his friend Oliver translating and reflecting on their friendship, the two discuss integration, language learning, and how music and community built an unlikely bond.

Sigrid
You have to picture this. We are in a kitchen, a room, a closet, and we are three different nationalities. And we’re going to talk about what it’s like to get out of your country, move to Germany, and what it feels like to start from zero until the point that you are not only fully integrated, but actually just speak German—and have German friends.

This is something we hear a lot: “It’s so complicated to have German friends.” But today, we’re going to prove that wrong.

We have DJ Tofee, and his story is one you’ll want to hear from the start. And we also have Oliver, who is German—and they’re friends. Thank you, both, for being here.

Sigrid
Tofee, how did you arrive in Germany?

Oliver (translating for Tofee)
Hi, Sigrid. Thanks for having us.

Tofee came to Germany through what’s known as the refugee route. He traveled from Turkey to Greece on an inflatable boat, and he had to try twice. The first time, the Turkish coast guard cut their boat and left everyone in the water. They waited six hours before being rescued by a Norwegian humanitarian ship—but were taken back to Turkey.

A few days later, he tried again—this time on a jet ski—and made it to Greece.

But the journey really started years earlier. Back in Iraq, in 2013–14, ISIS came in from Syria. Tofee owned a business and came from a well-off family, but local militias tried to force him to fight ISIS. He refused, knowing how deadly that path could be. He was beaten and threatened until a neighbor helped him escape.

That’s how his journey to Europe began.

Sigrid
First of all, welcome to Germany, Tofee. It’s now your home and a safe space. So, how did life in Berlin begin?

Oliver
Tofee arrived in Berlin at the end of 2016, beginning of 2017. He was lucky to find a German man who helped him a lot—gave him an apartment, helped with bureaucracy, and offered emotional support. That became his first real connection here.

At some point, Tofee decided he really wanted to integrate—learn the language, make German friends, and be part of the society.

In 2018, through a mutual friend named Gideon, we all got to know each other. On Valentine’s Day that year, Tofee attended an alcohol-free party hosted by Gideon. That was the moment music entered his life.

He was already curious about DJing, and Gideon showed him the ropes—literally explained the buttons on the decks. A few weeks later, there was a beach party. Gideon couldn’t DJ that night and asked Tofee to step in. He was nervous, but he did it. And that’s how it all started.

Integration, Friendship, and Becoming “a Bit German”

Sigrid
Tofee, you’ve done what many think is impossible: you speak German, you have German friends, and a German girlfriend!

Sigrid
Oliver, let’s bring you in here. How was it for you, as a German, to be confronted with another culture?

Oliver
It was around the same time that I started dating a Russian woman and became friends with Tofee. Suddenly I realized how German I actually am.

I used to think I was open-minded, but when it came to deep friendships, I realized I had that classic “social wall” Germans are known for.

Still, we connected quickly. I even dated someone from Italy once who didn’t speak English or German. I didn’t speak Italian. We ended up teaching each other words and creating our own little language. That’s what friendship and connection are about—you find a way to communicate.

Cigar Nights and Music: Beginninga of a new Friendships

Sigrid
Tell us more about your friendship. How did you two become so close?

Oliver
We kept meeting at house parties and events. But one night really bonded us.

We were at my place with our mutual friend Gideon. We had cigars, whiskey, played cards—and just had a great men’s night. It was spontaneous, but really meaningful. That was when I realized we’d be long-term friends.

It’s true what they say—Germans might take longer to open up, but once they do, the friendship is deep and real.

Sigrid
So, let’s get to the fun part: music. How did that unfold?

Oliver
After that beach party, Tofee started DJing more. He’s explored all kinds of music—techno, but also Latin, and even played at a Mexican party.

It’s really amazing to see how far he’s come.

Building Connections and Finding a sense of Belonging in Germany

Sigrid
We want to wrap this up with a question to both of you: What message would you share with the international community—and with Germany?

Oliver (translating for Tofee)
Tofee says: if you respect each other, you are always welcome.

And I believe that, too. Sometimes we Germans are afraid of the unknown, but getting to know people and showing respect makes a big difference. Even if something feels strange or unfamiliar, just take a step closer. Ask questions. Don’t judge right away.

Sigrid

Marlene, our producer and one of the reasons this podcast exists—you’ve been listening in. What would you like to add?

Marlene
I think we need to build more community. The world can feel depressing, but we need to stay hopeful and keep working toward being better.

Sigrid
Thank you to all of you—Tofee, Oliver, and Marlene. I also believe in the power of community. And in dark moments, we have to shine even brighter.

Oliver
Thank you for having us, ladies.

Tofee
Thank you so, so, so much.